Money

Any answers. No! I have no way to get money and we just got a ticket. I am suffering from depression and It all sucks. Love can really suffer from this and I do not know what to do about it. It is a horrible place to be. Every one has ass happy crappy shit answers but the answer is MONEY. So I do not know how to explain it to those that have money. That is why poor people kill themselves. We will not do that because we love our kids. I just do not know how else to do survive. When Mike goes bad I do not know what to do. I cannot be there for him when I am not there for me and when I really need him to be there for me.

That is why I want to be a size 4 or 2. Control!! The problem is I do not think weight loss fulfills anything. Self esteem does rise as weight falls.
It may for some but it no longer does for me. I used to blame my looks for everything and I knew even then that thinness came with its own issues but I believed then that if where thin many things would improve. They did not, things just got worst clothes clothes clothes!!!!

Now I want to disappear into nothingness and a size 2 seems good. So where do I go from here. I wish I was allowed sleep all day but it aint going to happen no money no luxury too much to and nothing to do it with and no food to help me feel good. What is a girl to do.