Been watching Buffy and it is so wonderful to laugh and watch ass kicking Buffy and Spike have some sort of history. You can feel the heat between them, although technically, as a vampire he is room temperature - Andrew
I remember discovering this show ad sharing this experience with Kate. That is not really her name but Kate is as Irish a name as I will give her. Wow we shared a passionate relationship. That was a friendship that when it was good it was amazing and when went south it just did. I had such an intense time with her. I did love her but it only lasted 5 years. She was a great friend and did quite a bit for me. She really believed in me but then we had really different values. It was hard because I hated her parental skills and her negative violent streak. I do not think she would ever commit a violent act but deep down she was trashy, white trash. I met Mike at he same time and we are still going strong. I remember calling him "the Boy" . He, I felt,was way to young and inexperienced for me but he changed my mind and now we are celebrating our 8th year of marriage 10 years of carnal knowledge and having a wedding April 17th.
I remember my first trip to Mike's place in Austin and having to explain to his room mate that I had to watch Buffy if they could let me in. These girls had never met me and they let me into the house so I could wait for Mike and watch Buffy. These were good days. Thrilling days, days of falling in love. That is why watching Buffy still does so much for me.
So what about this 12%... Well that I think is exactly what I should lose, in weight, that is. This would probably put me at the weight I was when I was 10. I was a big girl gained weight after the abuse started. Food the great comforter. It is funny how these things just hang around you for ever. How do you get these things out of your life for good. To forget, to not remember,to erase it. That would all be great.Yet these memories stay with you like the calcium deposit on my coffee maker. I wish I had some CLR to clean my buildup.
I guess that this 12% loss is a way to get some control back in my life. With all that has happened to me I have given up all my control and not willingly. I guess I am a bit of a control freak. Then again I have little if any control over anything.
Then again maybe I do. Its worth some self investigation. That is why I am so stuck on this 12%. I so have to think this out so more. Why do I need control? Why can I not just relax and go with it? What is this it I should go with.?