She is left over from my real youth. Why back about the time Ian Curtist died and Blue Monday came about.The days of bars such as Raw Power and Light. The original Changes and Spit Club in Boston. Shows like Bow Wow Wow, INX, The Furs,The Police,The Clash Split Enz and Adam Ant. People like Lee, Scott and Rudy. Stores like Commander
Salamander in DC and Fiarucci in NYC. I miss it or rather I remember it. It is an era many years ago and I have other things happening now. I guess it is Nostalgia. A free fucking time in life. I love my life but I miss the darkness and the drink and the total hedonism I reveled in. This is not my life now but the Gen X in know seemed to have missed the whole thing. Thank God or Kurt for Mike. This world would suck without him. He is someone who feels heart and soul the Music of the genius the music of the thinker, the desolate,the poet.
He is a wonder in my life that is often filled with the mundane and the aftermath of stupidity. I shutter thinking of my daily encounters with the bleakness all around me but a smile from my boys alleviates the pain of mediocrity.
All in all I cannot spend anymore I need a car
.
To allow peace from my deprecating nature and shelter me from that which cases me anguish. It is people but I hate admitting to it. I am not good at the money thing but learning is growing even if it is stifling I will live!! So I must learn to bite the bullet and save!! It ia quite beyond me but when I threaghten to leave my husband becasue of the pblic transportaion fight it is something I must think about.


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